Professional experience

2006 – Present Self-employed amateur gamer, clan-leader
2002 – 2006 Self-employed gamer under cover

  • masterfully deceived my parents, my friends, even my university professors that I was a student. I was a gamer.
  • Forged connections with Marshall Tito and Versello
  • Started training with the above-mentioned individuals
  • Trained with Flavius hostage-liberation, bomb-defusal and VIP-escort
1990 – 2002 First and sporadic steps in gaming and leading a squad of blood-lusted ogres against the human threat
1989 Introduced to Karateka and Load Runner
1984 – 1989 Leader of a tightly-knit team of parents and grandparents. The moment I were to open my mouth everybody would flock to follow my commands and fulfill my needs

 

Personal qualities:

Leadership skills – I’m a natural born leader! I got mad leadership skillz! You just have to see me yell in the office! I’m more impressive than Russel Crowe’s Maximus in the beginning of Gladiator!

Team-player – At least once a week I play with my clan – Borderlands, Modern Warfare 2, Gears of War, Grand Theft Auto IV, etc. Should I say more?

People skills – I am very skillful with people! I can swear in 4 languages, and I’m especially proficient in the Serbo-Croatian!

Communicative skills – Being required to have my X-Box Live headset at all times in order to insult any faggot who tries to be smart, I can assure you I’m more than skilled in being able to communicate

Multitasking – I have the occasional Double and Triple Kills!

Strong technical background – I’m very proficient in deploying claymores in Modern Warfare 2, as well as building bridges and fixing machine guns in Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory

Strong project management skills – I can kill a huge number of people with just two magazines of 45 bullets! Such a task was undertaken by non-other but Mr. Stalin and Mr. Hitler. Both of them #failed. #Meserably!

Driving license – I’ve flown an AC130 and a Pave Low, as well as most cars from Forza Motorsport 3

 

Personal information

Marital Status – Engaged in action with 6 clan-mates
Nationality – The 8==> clan member
Place of Birth – Somewhere on a 8-bit Bulgarian-made “Pravets” personal computer

In the unlikely event you omit the publishing date – 1st of April, 2010 – be aware this an April Fool’s joke. Here is my real Curriculum Vitae.

Wow! No comments so far!

Quickly! Be the first one to say something!

Leave a Reply